Zooming to the Fountain of Youth

Group exercise is one way to stay connected. Riley Anderson keeps us fit while sharing encouraging truth.

I have heard that married people live longer, but that isn’t necessarily true. Happily married people live longer but it isn’t the state of matrimony that seals the deal, it is healthy relationships in general. Countless experts and studies have confirmed what I have always suspected. The secret to not only living longer, but also living better, is healthy connection.

In Louis Cozolino’s Timeless: Nature’s Formula for Health and Longevity, he states, “Of all the experiences we need to survive and thrive, it is the experience of relating to others that is the most meaningful and important.” He further contends that the health risk of having limited positive human contact was a bad as smoking 15 cigarettes a day and more dangerous than being obese or not exercising.

One of my favorite reads in recent years, Life Reimagined: The Science, Art, and Opportunity of Midlife, by Barbara Bradley Hagerty, quotes multiple studies which show that the effects of quality friendships can outweigh exercise and eating well in creating quality of life as well as longevity. She cited a pilot study that proved lack of meaningful contact actually changes us on a cellular level. "Loneliness changes the immune system. Specifically, feeling isolated turns on genes for inflammation—which are the first responders to tissue damage or bacterial threats—and it puts the brakes on genes that stop inflammation.”

I have always been a big fan of Oxytocin. It is the hormone you get from skin-to-skin contact that creates not only pair-bonding between couples and connection with our children but also can be released between friends or even you and your fur babies. The most intense proportions come from sex and breast-feeding, but hugs and kisses do the trick too. Oxytocin is proven to reduce stress, anxiety and even depression. Now, you know why a nice warm hug can turn your day around!

Pastor Dave & Tracy King, staying connected with their congregation from a safe distance.

Then there are the Endorphins. Those "feel-good hormones” that promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain. You can get these in a number of ways, I'm told running is one (I'm not going to do that). My favorite way to get this drug is social laughter. Not only do you get the pain-relieving endorphins, but laughter also enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air and stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles. Pretty cool, huh?!

So what’s a gal to do during the COVID-19 social distance-athon? I’m pretty lucky to live with a smoking-hot hubby and my lovely stepdaughter, Joy, so I get my fair share of oxytocin and endorphins. Still, a couple of weeks ago I realized I was in a bit of a funk and couldn't put my finger on it. I realized I needed more... I need to share ideas with peers and keep up with what is happening to people I love who are outside of my quarantine zone, reading Facebook posts was not enough. Once I figured this out I realized it wasn't going to happen by accident; I needed to take action.

Zoom.us has revolutionized my quarantine. I am using it to not only meet with my boss and clients at work, but it has come in handy for my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health as well. If you don’t want to use Zoom, there are many other platforms out there, just pick one and run with it!

Jeanine, Keara, Debby, Kristen, Beth, Lori and Marilyn are some of the most open and beautiful Divas I know. I don’t know what I would have done if we had to give up our Bible Study / Chick Chat meetings during the quarantine.

I used to meet on Saturday mornings with a high energy young Diva by the name of Riley. She led yoga and aerobics while encouraging a group of ladies with an oddly effective mixture of Bible verses and Up-Town Funk. Now, Riley Zooms us in and I try to remember to mute myself, so no one hears me breathing hard and whimpering while holding a side plank. Through this class, I not only get to fight off the quarantine bod but get to drink from the social fountain of youth as well!

Then there is my lovely group of Divas that I meet with on Wednesday nights at Oakland Nazarene for Chick Chat, a Bible Study wherein we do what ladies do… Chat, about anything we want. It is highly therapeutic, and I have to say I would be missing it so much, had Zoom not kept us going. The best part is that we have a snowbird in the group that can now join us from FL. I have come to rely on these women to speak into my life and I'm always energized by them. I’m pretty sure I would not be managing as well as I am now without these Diva Chicks who laugh, cry and pray with me. 

Of course, we need to stay connected to the people who are not so near but ever so dear. I have been able to stay in touch with my kiddos via phone, text, and Zoom. Last week I hosted a Gathering of the Diva’s online party with some of my Oklahoma Divas. It was great to catch up and it had been a while for a few of us. There is nothing better than looking at the faces of people you love while you talk to them. You can also show up (but keep your distance)! We got a text from our Pastor, Dave King last week that he and his wife Tracy were in our front yard. Sure enough, there they were with signs of encouragement. We had a chilly but lovely visit in the yard and got to pray together. They should get an extra sip from the fountain for staying connected with their congregation this way!

You are not the only person getting weary of disconnection. There are others that are feeling the effects, possibly more intensely than you. I call my mom several times a week, because she is hyper-isolated due of health issues and losing my dad a few months ago. It isn't always earth-shattering repartee, most of our conversations are about what's for dinner; she can tease me for my love of seafood and I can disparage her affinity for peas. My brother visits her regularly but must stay across the room from her. She gets a few other calls from family, but this is still not much contact with the outside world. Her only oxytocin comes from her dog, Didi, who fortunately loves the attention. Through these regular conversations she gets to use her voice for a little while and she knows that someone cares about her. I can't hug her right now and give her oxytocin, but I can make her laugh and give her some of those endorphins.

Once this is over, everybody hug!!! Even if you are still wearing a mask. Until then, find ways to stay connected. Reach out to someone you love or maybe someone you don't know so well but you know they are alone. It's OK to be a social introvert but don’t be a hermit. It isn’t good for you short term, and certainly not long term. Don’t wait for someone to call you, take charge: call, write, text, video chat. This is a magical world we are living in, take advantage of it. Drink from the fountain, stay young and healthy!