Bonus Diva Daughters
It took me a couple of extra decades, but I finally have daughters. Boys are fun, I am thrilled to have raised two incredible sons; they were the center of my universe and make me proud every day. But… I always thought it would be nice to have daughters too. I knew one day I would, but not in the conventional sense of the word. I’m certain that though these young women weren’t born into my family, they were born to be a part of it.
Not only was the lovely Samantha my first Bonus Daughter, but in September, she will also be the first to make me a Gigi!
When my boys were just little guys, I would often pray for their future wives. I wanted them to have enough challenges to grow their character, but not so many as to break them. I prayed they would be kind and loving partners to my boys and mothers to my future grandchildren. I was blessed to have a great relationship with my mother-in-law so I prayed I would have that with the next generation. I’m happy to say my prayers were answered with a “Yes” and “Amen”!
In 2016 I got my first daughter, Samantha. Sam was the high school sweetheart of my youngest son, Alex, and just blended in naturally with our crazy family. She is a tenderhearted, cupcake-baking, dark-haired beauty. (The cupcakes got Alex’s attention, right away.) What I love most about watching her with my son, is how they take care of one another. They are kind and patient; I don’t see that enough in marriages, sadly.
This year, I got the best news from my Alex and Sam; in September we will be welcoming my first grand-baby. AND SHE’S A GIRL! Little Ava Claire Dearman will make me a Gigi! I have already bought her first tiara and can’t wait to train her in the ways of the Diva.
Since I live 500 miles away from them, I am always happy when Sam texts me or sends pictures, especially of her baby bump or a sonogram. Sam makes an effort and I appreciate it so much. She is also one of those traditional girls that loves a hand-written card or letter. I get giddy when I see a pretty envelope in the mailbox with her neat printing on it.
What a treat to have another woman under our roof. Joy is always good for an insightful talk, a sappy musical, or chocolate!
Unexpectedly, I picked up a couple of new step-daughters, when I married Randy in 2018. They are full-grown, intelligent young women of God. Unfortunately, they lived in different states so I wasn’t able to really connect with them until a year ago. Joy, the youngest, graduated college and came to visit us for a month. About that time, she answered the call to missions in Germany and began fund-raising, so keeping her current bills at a minimum was essential. That month of staying with us turned into a year and we couldn’t be happier.
Joy is well-named. She is a good-natured, driven, and a die-hard romantic with eyes as big as her smile. We were both English majors, so we love to talk books (she is as obsessed with Jane Austen as I am). When Randy is out of town, we watch sappy musicals in our jammies. I am going to miss her when she leaves, but I look forward to trekking around Europe with her when we visit next year. I know this will entail much cheese, chocolate, and wine. I can’t wait!
My newest bonus daughter is Emily and she is all heart . It only takes a few moments with her to understand how important relationships are to her; family, friends, cats and dogs!
I will lock in my final daughter in October this year; Emily will marry my oldest son, Joey. Emily has many great qualities; beautiful inside & out and smart to boot! She is goal-oriented and has been a great influence on Joey, who always had good taste in women but kicked it up a notch with this one.
My favorite thing about Emily is her sense of family and connection. Even now, before the wedding, she makes an effort to include me in the decisions they are making. She has an open heart and I love the way she looks at my 6’3” baby. Just like Sam, she will be a great mom to my future grandchildren. (Not that I’m rushing things!)
While praying for all of my kids this morning, I got to thinking about how blessed I am to have these young women in my life and how much I truly love them. Their parents all did a fantastic job raising them and I am grateful that they have been willing to share them with me now. As the more mature Diva in our family pack (I’m avoiding the word “old”), it is my job to try to be a good example and share what wisdom my experiences have brought me. I thought about it and jotted down what I would want to pass on to this next generation of Divas.
My Precious Diva Daughters
I’m sure you already know most of these, but it never hurts to be reminded. Feel free to throw them back in my face, when I forget! - Love Mama Terri
1. Have faith.
You don’t have to control everything. When (not if) things get overwhelming, rest in the peace that surpasses all understanding. (Phil 4:7)
God cares about what concerns you but He is a gentleman. He only goes where He is invited; let Him in.
2. Treat others with kindness and dignity.
People will forget what you said, People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel. – Maya Angelou
3. Motives matter more than performance.
The world will see what you do, God sees why you do it. His opinion is more important.
4. Practice contentment.
It’s not having what you want, but wanting what you’ve got. - Sheryl Crow - “Soak Up the Sun”
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. - Philippians 4:12
5. Actively look for the silver lining.
Start each day with gratitude. You are BLESSED!
Notice what is right in your world, find the positive, you always find what you look for.
6. Never question your place in this world.
“Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don't belong. You will always find it because you've made that your mission. Stop scouring people's faces for evidence that you're not enough. You will always find it because you've made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don't negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you.” – Brené Brown
7. Inventory your inner circle; eliminate drama.
Focus on the people who make your life better, limit time with those who don’t.
8. Celebrate big and small victories.
The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance, and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning. – Oprah Winfrey
9. Don’t be afraid to do something scary.
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. – Eleanor Roosevelt
10. You matter.
Not because the world recognizes your accomplishments but because that is how God created you; it is your default setting. You are each one-of-a-kind and I’m blessed to know you and love you!