Why Just Reasonably Happy?

We grew up with the fairy tales ending with everyone living “happily ever after”.

Pfft!

Of course, marriage to Prince Charming is the first step toward paradise. So… we grow up, search for him, don’t find him, settle for Prince Charming Enough, try to make him more charming. Somehow between kids, jobs, laundry, burned dinners, and lost keys we never quite find that state of bliss promised to us.

We look around at others who seem to have it all together. That smiling family in the pew in front of you at Church that always sings on key, that co-worker that kept her figure after 6 children, your sister whose kids are always clean and whose husband still kisses her in front of people. How did they get the fairy tale ending?

Again, I say, Pfft!

While I do believe people can be happy and it isn’t all fake, I’m not convinced that anyone has a perfect relationship. No one has it all together all the time. Everyone is going through something, at some point. Some of us are just better at hiding the flaws, wrinkles, cracks, and downright decay. When my marriage ended, one of my friends said she was shocked. She had always been jealous of how well my ex-husband and I got along. For the most part, we did get along. Unfortunately, our peaceful home was dependent on my being unaware of his sleeping with other men, and running a Ponzi scheme to fund his gambling addiction. Those were the last straws, but the marriage had been damaged for years. We were just great at pretending that we were living our “happily ever after”.

These events were not even the worst of that season, I needed relief so I found myself in a Celebrate Recovery meeting in September of 2012. At the end of the meeting, we recited the Serenity Prayer. I had only heard the first few lines before, but that night I heard the full prayer and it changed my life. At the end, it says that if we surrender to God’s will, we can be Reasonably Happy in this life and Supremely Happy in the next. What a blessing! I felt like that was attainable. Reasonably Happy seemed pretty fantastic!

I have clung to this concept since then. No matter how bad things got, I could find something for which to be grateful, which brought me to a place of peace, which is truly happiness. My life is less dramatic now, but the notion is still valid. It is easy to become dissatisfied with our imperfect lives. This broken world can’t create, let alone maintain, perfection. I think Paul said it best:

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. – Phil 4:12

By the way, he wrote that from prison. Being Reasonably Happy is not a state of affairs, it is a state of mind. Be well, be Reasonably Happy, my Divas!

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity 
To accept the things I cannot change; 
Courage to change the things I can; 
And wisdom to know the difference. 
Living one day at a time; 
Enjoying one moment at a time; 
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it; 
Trusting that He will make all things right 
If I surrender to His Will; 
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life 
And supremely happy with Him 
Forever in the next. 
Amen.

Reinhold Neibuhr, 1892-1971