Mentor-Moms: What Three Divas Have Taught Me
Sandy, Gracie, and Marilyn. All mothers to me and have shaped me in ways they will never know.
If I were going to write my bio, not a career bio but a “who I am as a human” bio, I think I could trace back all of my best qualities to lessons I’ve learned (am learning) from three women: my mothers.
Mom #1: Sandy (the original)
This has been a tough year for my mom. Her heart literally stopped a few times. Thankfully, she was brought back to us and is now recovering with a pacemaker. Needless to say, I’m fortunate to be able to call her today to wish her a happy Mother’s Day.
Making Do
My mom was the queen of making do. Raising four kids on a service-man’s salary could not have been easy, but she managed. I know this because my siblings and I didn’t know we were poor. We always had a home, thanks to Uncle Sam, and we always had enough to eat, thanks to Hamburger Helper. We didn’t go on vacations, but we didn’t need to; the Air Force showed us the world. She would say, “Why pay someone to do something you can do yourself?” So, she figured things out, and taught us to do the same. At 12, I started cutting my own hair, Mom taught me how. I can’t imagine how much money I have saved over the years doing this one thing for myself, my children, my husband, and tons of broke college friends back in the day.
Creativity
Anyone who knows me knows that I love to craft and this was born into me by my mom. She sewed most of our clothes growing up and was always busy with her hands. Needle point, knitting, crochet, macramé, etc. She did crafts with us as kids too. We would pull out my favorite book on the shelf: “Make and Do” from the World Book Encyclopedia set. (Yep, that’s how old I am.) My childhood was inundated with glitter, glue, pipe cleaners and construction paper. I got to relive that chaos with my own kids, who are carrying on the family tradition.
Written Word
I was never an academic, but I loved to read. Books were always available to us, and my mom lead by example. Mom was smart; she has an extensive vocabulary and an inquisitive mind, because she was always reading. Reading wasn’t always a solo activity. I remember rainy days as a teen-ager, we would sit on opposite ends of the couch sharing an afghan, crocheted by her, and each be reading a book. At that point in life, it was probably Harlequin Romances (don’t tell Jane Austen!) We would finish about the same time, swap books and read some more. Afterward we would discuss the books.
I think my love of literature is why I chose English as my major in college. I still read, though audio books have changed my world. Like my mom, I just love words, the shades and depths of them. This is why I love to write too. I feel like I’m part of something bigger than myself. There is something about putting thoughts and feelings to paper, knowing someone else may understand, that gives a sense that this life matters.
My mom played a huge role in who I am. For that, I will always appreciate her. Now, I’m going to find out if she actually reads my blog… 😊
Mom #2 – Gracie
I hear horror stories about strained, even aggressively mean relationships between in-laws. Thank God, this has not been my experience.
Gracie was my first mother-in-law. As soon as I was engaged to her son, she insisted that I call her “Mom”. It wasn’t awkward at all, it was easy because she treated me as her daughter. This gave me the example of how I would later treat my own daughter-in-law, Sam. She is the future mother of my grandchildren, so she is one of my own. Plus, she is downright lovable!
Reckless Love
Gracie valued people over possessions. She gave time, talents, and treasure freely, both to God and man. She had a light spirit and laughed freely. No one was a stranger, and there was frequently a relative or friend living with her. She taught me to love recklessly, not worrying about what I get in return.
When my kids were pre-school aged, she watched them while I worked. They loved it! She was a fun and indulgent grandma. She was a retired kindergarten teacher, so she had a way with kids that stepped it up a notch. They were fairly young when she passed away. They don’t remember all the details, but they do remember what matters most, how she made them feel: safe and treasured.
On the day of her funeral, the little town she taught in had to close the k-12 school system because every teacher and student wanted to pay their last respects to a lady who made a difference in so many lives. That’s a legacy.
Mom #3 – Marilyn
Who knew in my 2nd Act, that I would be blessed with one last mom? Again, I hit the jackpot! Marilyn is a kind and loving woman who lets me call her mom, and best yet, the lessons I’m learning from her are perfect for this season of my life.
Marilyn is everything I want to be in 20 years, actually, even right now. She has a great sense of style and a joie de’vivre that people half her age would envy. She still knows how to have fun. I love that!
Stay Engaged
Marilyn is not sitting home watching soaps. She is engaged and I think that is the secret to a long and fulfilling life. She volunteers in her church and community. She works part-time, because she enjoys it. She maintains rich relationships with life-long friends and nurtures the bond with her children and grandchildren. Even we in-laws are embraced. I’m always touched when she calls or texts just to check on me. What a blessing she has been!
Thank You Moms!
No mom is perfect, I need to believe that because I made my share of mistakes. I did some things right too. As long as I have kids and moms, I want to keep trying.
Take a little time today to reflect on what your mom(s) did right. If you are lucky enough to still be able to talk to your mom, say thank you. As for me, I want to say thank you to my moms for investing in me in all the little and big ways. Happy Mother’s Day!